Old Friends ...

Last night, I met with some dear old friends for dinner. We enjoyed each others' company ... there was a lot of teasing, laughing, raising glasses and toasts ... it was one of those little gems which I can savor later, when things are quiet, and I'm by myself.

On the way home, my mother-in-law and I began to talk about some of her health problems. Her nephrologist has been after her to prepare herself for dialysis ... and she admitted to me last night that she wasn't sure she wanted to do that. The warmth of our little meeting was suddenly sucked up into the dark empty of the cold, driving rain which was making the road so hard to see. Trying to keep my voice from showing what I was feeling, I asked her to consider that we still needed her ... that her creatinine would improve if she were on dialysis, and she would be feeling better ... that whenever anything happens, the first I think is, "I can't wait to tell her!" ... that I could help her with the home dialysis ... anything ... anything ... just please don't bail on us.

Once home, as I should have been asleep to prepare for all of today's cleaning and baking, I was instead morosely considering that the majority of my very closest friends are in my mother-in-law's generation. None of them are in good health. They all seem to be in a race to leave ...

At the moment, I still have them ... Fr. Paul, Fr. Bob, Fr. Joe ... Althea ... "Mom" England ... Susan ... Emery ... There will come a time when our "get togethers" of 9 and 10 people will become sad little "nights out" with only 2 or 3. Is this what it's all about?

Letting go ... is so hard to do.

I visited "The Doctor is In," and cut and pasted some of his many inspirational posts ... and printed them out so that I could have them at my bedside for those long wee early hours when sleep won't come because there are too many faces, too many ideas, parading through my mind. While they certainly won't put me to sleep from boredom - they may let me eke out a bit of peace, and thus some z's.

And now ... I need to head for the kitchen, and make some pies. I'll take pictures tomorrow, and share them with you - whoever you are, out there - reading my sometimes "long" thoughts.

Peaceful Thanksgiving Day, everyone! May your homes be warm, loud with voices you that are dear to you, and full of cheerful bustling.